It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
