i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
