fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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