Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Say something about gay babies.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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