If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
