I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize