me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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