How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
