sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
