Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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