He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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