The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
