I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
