We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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