They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
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