Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
