I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Two words: blizzard sex
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
