He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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