So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
