Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
