She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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