I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
party gras won. party gras always wins.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
