I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
