1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
