On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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