i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he high fived his dick after we had sex
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize