my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
