.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
