i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
