It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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