He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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