doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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