Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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