5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
