one two three fourrrrnication!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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