I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
