I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize