I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
