he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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