I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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