I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
