Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
