i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
