I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
