remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
