idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
