just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
