Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
