none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh god the rape fog is back!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
