why didn't you poke me back
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
