Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's shark week go big or go home
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
