Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
