butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
