He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
