So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
