I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
