I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
