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we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
