# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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