...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
