Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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