so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
