My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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