he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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