My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
