I'm drive I can fine osifer
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
