Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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