My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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