i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my poor anus
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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