You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
