PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
