Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
