somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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