Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
try to milk me bitch
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
