Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i now understand why vodka
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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