I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
