I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
