At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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